"Seatbelts must be worn J.Lo style: low, tight and across the hips."

The summer is a very busy travel season for me. In fact, I might be setting a new record for myself in 2011: 4 trips in 7 weeks, to 4 different locations, starting today. Traveling can be a pain sometimes, but it's amazing how the little things can make traveling more (or less!) enjoyable.

Case in point: A Southwest flight a couple weeks ago had one of the funniest flight attendants ever. I just had to scribble out parts of his spiel...and I share them here for your enjoyment.

during opening safety presentation:

"Place the mask over your mouth and breeeeeathe normally." {he then proceeded to breathe like Darth Vader over the intercom system}

"We'll now be walking through the cabin to make sure your shoes and socks match."

"Don't mess with our flight attendants. We know jujuju-jitsu...and about three other Japanese words between the three of us."

as we were taxiing toward the runway

"To enhance my natural good looks, we're now going to dim the cabin lights. And don't forget, the more you sleep, the less we work!"