a quarter

For those of you who don't know, I turned 25 this week.

I am excited about this for one main reason: 25 is the age when you can rent a car without additional fees.

It's a big milestone because people will give you any size and type of car, thinking you're a mature adult. Really, though, you feel like this: I just graduated from college...wait, was that really 3 years ago? But I don't really know anything, in fact, I know less than I did in college. Why didn't anyone ever tell me that I'll feel stupider as I get older?? Wait, this person thinks that I can pay multiple hundreds of dollars in rent every month? When did I reach the age when hundreds of dollars wasn't a big deal? It was just a few years ago when I thought $100 was like a million!! And why do these people think I can handle all these responsibilities because I definitely haven't reached adulthood!! Don't they say you're as old as you feel? I feel 14, not 25!


I'm also thrilled about age 25 because of the exciting things I'll be doing during this year of my life, such as becoming a hobo on April 30, working at an adventure camp all summer, seeing one of my best friends get married, moving to Uganda, spending a week at the beach with my adopted family, watching my brother graduate from college, learning a new culture simultaneously with a new job, and renting a car without paying underage fees.

Also, some tidbits for you on how the world has changed during the past quarter century:
-"Salad-in-a-bag" was invented in 1989 (age 2)
-Electronic tolls (think EZ Pass) began in 1989 (age 2)
-Dopplar radar started its TV run in 1990 and is still going strong (age 3)
-Powerpoint was unveiled in 1990! (age 3)
-Debit card transactions became popular in 1995 (age 8)
-Disposable contacts arrived in 1995 (age 8)
-DVDs were introduced in 1995 (age 8)
-Blackberries started accepting email in 1999 (when I was age 12)
-iPods were developed in 2001 (age 14)
-speaking of 2001...9/11 was a life changing event for my generation (age 14)

To avoid ending on a downer, here's a shout-out to my friend JenniMarie: on my birthday in 1888, Eastman Kodak was formed.

jitters.

Today, I'm doing something that gives me butterflies in my stomach.

I dreamed about it last night. Even after forcing myself to stop thinking about it so I could actually fall asleep.

When I woke up at 5am, it was the first thing on my mind. I consciously forced myself to relax and fall back asleep.

I purposefully chose to run sprints this morning to remove a bit of the boundless energy that consumes me when I'm nervous. (yes, friends, if I seem to have kilowatts of energy in some situations, it may be from nerves, not boredom!)

Staying in a comfort zone is often quite...comfortable. It doesn't make me nervous, it doesn't give me the jitters, it doesn't require concentration or attention to details. Comfort zones give freedom for exploration, dreaming, hobbies, and joking with friends. Being pushed to face and to conquer phobias is often quite terrifying. The 'what ifs' crowd my mind, I literally shake with fear, my voice goes up a decibel, and my stomach refuses to accept even the most tempting of delicacies (ie, pizza!). I listen to Glory Revealed, Kelly Clarkson, Aaron Shust, Katy Perry; I joke with friends; I pretend excitement; and still in the back of my mind I'm contemplating how I can escape, whether starting a new life in Denver would be easier than the thing I'm about to face.

"I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13


"All things" would probably include my first solo venture in setting up the zip line.

"Cast all your anxieties on [Jesus], because he cares for you." 1 Pet. 5:7

PS--the dream was NOT a nightmare. ;) Well, minus being short and unable to reach things (a legitimate issue) and losing my favorite shirt in the lake (a bogus fear, since there is no lake nearby!). 

inverse

In case you didn't notice, the length of my blog posts have an inverse relationship with the busyness of my week.

This week has been crazy. So I will leave you with a picture of why last week's post was succinct:

Tim Horton's coffee in Canada. There is quite possibly nothing more Canadian, according to our hosts.

why i love my future job

Where else do you get paid to go canoeing?

Or the opportunity to run a zip line in the woods?

Summer 2012, you might be the best yet.

lies, all lies

Many folks say women can have it all. Sure, of course a girl can have a successful career AND be a good mother! Why couldn't she? Women are great a multitasking!

It's a lie. 

I know this and I'm not even a mom.

I mean, I can barely keep my house clean and myself fed decently while holding down a (sometimes demanding) job, participating in community and church events, and oh yeah, keeping in touch with my long-distance family and friends. Some weeks, it's all I can do to scarf down nachos after work before jumping back into my car for "the next thing."

How on earth could I raise even barely well-behaved kids? I don't even have time for a dog!

someday i'll have one!

Superwoman is a fantasy heroine, a myth. I, nor any other woman, are not required to live to her standards...because her standards are not based in reality.

Now excuse me while I smother the complaints of my un-spotlessly-clean bathroom under my un-regularly-washed sheets.

secret doors

Last week, my brother came to visit me. We visited a hotel styled a "mansion" in Washington, DC, because said hotel also styles itself as a museum with many secret doors to find. 

Secret passage behind a bookshelf! Sweet!

Sometimes, life feels a little like that hotel/museum/mansion: confused about itself, full of secret passages that require special knowledge or insight to find, and containing very odd decorations sometimes unbecoming to itself.

Finding "God's will for my life" used to create all sorts of fear in my life. Was I on the correct path? What if I had worked the wrong job two summers ago? What if I was supposed talk to that military recruiter? What if I had totally missed the way??

Then I read a liberating little book called Just Do Something. If you're in my area and want a copy, I actually own two: one that I've underlined, marked, and loved, and one that I purchased specifically for lending. Everyone needs to read this book. For those who haven't, the essence of the book is this sentence: If you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, you will be in God's will, so just go out and do something.

Since reading that book two years ago, my perspective on life has changed. No longer am I searching for the secret door that will reveal God's will and make my life happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. As long as I love God and obey His commands (read the Bible, they're pretty plain!), I am free to pursue almost whatever life I want!

Thus have I reached my current life position. In a few months, I will be leaving my current job to spend the summer advancing God's kingdom through a position at a Christian adventure camp in Virginia. I'll spend my days preaching, praying, and playing with kids. Then, come August, I'll be moving to Uganda to support a missionary family by teaching two of their children for a year. 

At an age and a point where my career could start advancing, I looked at my life and realized that God has given me the perfect opportunity to spend a year serving His kingdom. I had a choice: I could pursue the next level in my career field or I could pursue a year of faith-building. Both were valid choices; both had pros and cons. In the end, after much discussion and prayer, I chose option 2.

So I'm putting my career on hold for a year in favor of a year of breath-taking adventure, ultimate challenges, and a faith-building journey that will grow me closer to my Savior, Jesus. I'll be sharing my journey on this blog, not to convict but to inspire. Watching other people's lives, in person and via blogs, has made a huge impact on me; now, I'll be contributing my voice. 

T-minus 2 months. Let the countdown begin.