secret doors

Last week, my brother came to visit me. We visited a hotel styled a "mansion" in Washington, DC, because said hotel also styles itself as a museum with many secret doors to find. 

Secret passage behind a bookshelf! Sweet!

Sometimes, life feels a little like that hotel/museum/mansion: confused about itself, full of secret passages that require special knowledge or insight to find, and containing very odd decorations sometimes unbecoming to itself.

Finding "God's will for my life" used to create all sorts of fear in my life. Was I on the correct path? What if I had worked the wrong job two summers ago? What if I was supposed talk to that military recruiter? What if I had totally missed the way??

Then I read a liberating little book called Just Do Something. If you're in my area and want a copy, I actually own two: one that I've underlined, marked, and loved, and one that I purchased specifically for lending. Everyone needs to read this book. For those who haven't, the essence of the book is this sentence: If you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, you will be in God's will, so just go out and do something.

Since reading that book two years ago, my perspective on life has changed. No longer am I searching for the secret door that will reveal God's will and make my life happy, healthy, wealthy, and wise. As long as I love God and obey His commands (read the Bible, they're pretty plain!), I am free to pursue almost whatever life I want!

Thus have I reached my current life position. In a few months, I will be leaving my current job to spend the summer advancing God's kingdom through a position at a Christian adventure camp in Virginia. I'll spend my days preaching, praying, and playing with kids. Then, come August, I'll be moving to Uganda to support a missionary family by teaching two of their children for a year. 

At an age and a point where my career could start advancing, I looked at my life and realized that God has given me the perfect opportunity to spend a year serving His kingdom. I had a choice: I could pursue the next level in my career field or I could pursue a year of faith-building. Both were valid choices; both had pros and cons. In the end, after much discussion and prayer, I chose option 2.

So I'm putting my career on hold for a year in favor of a year of breath-taking adventure, ultimate challenges, and a faith-building journey that will grow me closer to my Savior, Jesus. I'll be sharing my journey on this blog, not to convict but to inspire. Watching other people's lives, in person and via blogs, has made a huge impact on me; now, I'll be contributing my voice. 

T-minus 2 months. Let the countdown begin. 

human dignity

Feet pattered against the floor as the attendees shifted into a position where they could see the presenter without smacking against the wall or another attendee as they followed his movements. Three-quarters of the way through a three-hour workshop, the opportunity for activity was welcome to the group of mostly kinesthetic learners. The presenter jumped off the stage to demonstrate, not entirely unexpected as he had revealed himself to enjoy participant interaction versus the distance of the stage. The group gathered closer, eager to catch every move.

Suddenly, he stopped mid-sentence. Motioning with his hands, he calmly asked if folks could clear a path so that the videographer could see...and then interrupted himself again, shaking his head. "That's just brutal," he smiled as he walked toward the back of the room. A few seconds of quiet conversation, a handshake, and he returned to the front. "Would you folks mind moving to the side so that Darren can get a good shot of the demonstration?"

The workshop continued uneventfully, but the 45 second encounter stuck in my mind. This presenter, a "famous in his field," knowledgeable, and busy man, had taken 10 seconds to recognize the dignity of a fellow human, a human who expected to stay in the background, whose job was to record unobtrusively the session to further increase the presenter's fame. 

Those 45 seconds encapsulate the heart of a servant-leader to me.

"But whoever would be great among you must be your servant." - Matt. 20.26

The Sower

"Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured it. Other seed fell on rocky ground, where it did not have much soil, and immediately it sprang up, since it had no depth of soil. And when the sun rose, it was scorched, and since it had no root, it withered away. Other seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it, and it yielded no grain. And other seeds fell into the good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold."


When the owner of the field hires the sower, he hires him for one duty: to sow.

The sower is not held responsible for how the seeds grow; he must ensure that all the seeds are planted, are given the chance to grow. If the sower returns to his employer with a half-full bag, excusing his dereliction of duty due to bad soil or overgrown fields, he will be fired. The employer hires him to sow, not to commentate on the state of the fields.

Perhaps the thorns covering the soil are actually loose weeds that will be removed by the next workers in the field. Perhaps the soil that seems perfect is actually hiding a layer of rocks, simply waiting for the next rainstorm to be uncovered. The sower doesn't know these things; he is simply responsible to sow.

"And he said, 'The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how."  - Mark 4.3-8, 26-27

a vivid story

full disclosure: i'm not a huge fan of the "tell a bible story in vivid detail then jump immediately into the sermon!" technique. it jars my overactive & photographic imagination when we dart between true & untrue or past & present. but i will admit: it's effective when used well, as demonstrated in this sermon. and inspired, my mind the next day was fully engaged when reading Luke 4: 31-37. 


"And he went down to Capernaum a city of Galilee. And he was teaching them on the Sabbath."

I was sitting in the synagogue, yawn, yawn. After the second or third rabbi, my girlfriends and I gave up listening in detail, instead entertaining ourselves by drawing marks on the floor with our toes to talk about guys. My matchmaker was coming this week, and I needed some ideas for her--no chance letting her suggest men!


Then this new guy got up to preach. I wasn't paying attention until Rachel jabbed her elbow in my side. "New!" was the furtive whisper as she leaned toward me, trying to get a better view. And indeed, he was new! Not too much better looking than Eli or Jacob, but tolerable. Once I tuned in, though, I was captivated. This man spoke like no other rabbi--he was passionate about what he was saying!


"And they were astonished at his teaching, for his word possessed authority. And in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice,"

Whoa! Old Zeke is shouting at the new rabbi! Something must have gotten him riled up, usually he doesn't even come to the synagogue and now he's in here shouting? Everyone says he's demon-possessed...maybe he really is. He doesn't seem to like this guy...


"Ha! What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are--the HOLY ONE OF GOD."

Silence. This is...awkward.


But Jesus rebuked him, saying "Be silent and come out of him!" And when the demon had thrown him down in their midst, he came out of him having done him no harm.

I didn't understand how everyone could be talking so rapidly and so loudly. Hadn't they just seen what I'd seen? Were they not speechless? Rachel jabbered at me, the crowd was standing, but this man calmly took a seat, indicating that the next speaker should begin. 

And they were all amazed and said to one another "What is this word? For with authority and power he commands the unclean spirits, and they come out!"


There was no next speaker. The service was so totally derailed by the demon-casting that the head rabbi dismissed us, after a brief and barely-comprehended chiding about respecting the Sabbath day and keeping it holy. 


And reports about him went out into every place in the surrounding region.

The spectacular event was on everyone's lips for the next week--one couldn't visit the market, the well, the cafe without hearing about it. Some claimed they'd seen three men have demons cast out; some claimed that it was all staged. Relatives from nearby towns came to visit, hoping to see the healed man, as well as this miracle-working rabbi! The one sound I will never forget is that crazed, demon-possessed man, spitting out with such vehemency the phrase "the Holy One of God!" 


Do demons ever tell the truth? 

a relay of sorts

I like to imagine I’m running a relay race. Three years ago, I took the baton and have been running hard ever since. Granted, there have been a few rest stations along the way, a few opportunities to ditch the baton and enjoy the freedom of a break from the race. In the end, though, the baton always returns, and as the race has continued, the baton seems to have magically transformed into ankle weights, then a weighted harness, then a backpack full of rocks. It’s gotten significantly heavier, which means I feel significantly more proud of accomplishing each lap, but also much, much more weary at the end of each turn.

I knew that my relay was almost over—I had been anticipating its end for over a year. Still, curves kept arising, rather like driving a mountainous road: fun, but while I knew the end was near, I couldn’t quite see it.

Suddenly, just the other day, I caught a glimpse of the end. I saw my relay replacement, eager, ready to start, excited about running the race. I dipped below a hill, but the knowledge that my replacement is there, waiting, preparing to run alongside me for the last few miles, was refreshing. Remotivating.

I think I have strength to finish now. 

an equation

An equation I saw in a college dorm room recently goes as follows:

Intentions minus (-) action equals (=) squat

For example, my intention since the beginning of January to post regularly on this blog obviously has meant nothing since I would/could not take action on it. And my intention to get out the door so I can run or go to work early or call my neighbor or buy  groceries means nothing if I don't put some serious willpower into acting on the desire. 

Likewise, I realized today that a similar equation holds true for belief:

Belief plus (+) talk minus (-) action equals (=) a pile of crap

If I really believe that any parent can homeschool a special needs kid and if I have argued this belief in front of hundreds of families over the past three years, yet I purposefully refuse a chance to act on that belief for myself, do I really believe it?

If I truly believe that God has a good plan for my life and I often claim that even in hardships, He is working good for my future, yet I distinctly choose not to accept the hard position He unexpectedly gifts to me, do I really believe it?

Do the beliefs I espouse really inform my decision-making paradigm?