Somewhere about the middle of Jesus’ famous mountain theologue, He has a section about worry. “Do not worry,” he says. “Can you even add one hour to your life through anxiety? So go, seek God’s Kingdom, and don’t worry about your life--God will provide all you need. Today has enough trouble; let tomorrow worry about itself.”
In the midst of preparing to return to Uganda, worry about tomorrow comes quite naturally. Will I be so lonely this time? Will I continue making friends? Will I like living on Primary or will I miss Secondary? Will five months be easier or harder than three and a half months? Will I miss Uganda when I leave? Will I enjoy Uganda while I’m there?
All these worries swirl around my head, pulling me into a cycle of anxiety focused on possibilities and fears. I fight to ignore the future, to interact with real life, with what’s occurring in the moment. So I enter the present and end up watching 24 with my parents. Watching, I’m addicted and the future recedes...yet the more I watch, the more the lesson of saving tomorrow’s troubles for tomorrow strikes home. Jack Bauer, the starring secret agent, lives every hour to the fullest. From the beginning of his day, he doesn’t worry about saving energy for the next 18 hours, let alone the next day (a brand new season!). Jack does whatever is necessary in the moment wholeheartedly, letting consequences and future trouble fall by the wayside in full pursuit of whatever needs to happen at that moment, to fulfill the ultimate goal of saving the world.
I want to live like that, my heart whispers. I want to breathe every moment, to grasp every opportunity, without regard to my fears, to ‘what ifs,’ in pursuit of my ultimate goal, in pursuit of knowing Jesus. What’s the secret to living like Jack Bauer?
The answer comes unexpectedly that night, as I finally finish the book I started four months ago,1,000 Gifts, so aptly a gift from a friend with the note: “It’ll change your life.”
The secret to a grace-filled, in-the-moment, seeking-after-Christ life, write Ann Voskamp, is eucharisteo: giving thanks in all circumstances. God blesses every day with limitless gifts, big and small. We must seek them, count them, use them as weapons to fight the battle against fear, against worry, against Satan’s whispered lies that perhaps God is not entirely good. The gifts of a sunrise, a friend, a bargain, a breath, are all assurances that God is good, that He gives good gifts, and that He is involved in the details of my life.
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| the gift of Bubba! |
To live outside of worry, to live as Jack Bauer, is to live with thanksgiving continually on my lips. The revelation is simple, probably a repeat of something I’ve heard in the past, but this time it sticks. And so, lying on my bed one cold December night, I develop my 2013 resolution: to find and list 1,000 gifts during the next five months.
That’s 7 gifts a day, 49 gifts a week, 200 gifts a month, 1000 gifts in 5 months. Starting today, all these gifts, counted in one little book, exploring the idea of thankfulness as the anecdote to worry, the technique for leaving tomorrow’s troubles in tomorrow, the secret to living fully like Jack Bauer.
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| my 1000 gifts book |
PS--so if someone wanted to send me a season of 24, that person would likely make the top of my gifts list for at least 24 days…
LOVE this post! great thoughts, great resolution. can't wait to keep hearing how counting gifts continues to changes the way you view life ... I want to remember to talk about this sometime, too! :D
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